For anyone interested in seeing what I wrote in #1, it’s here.
Now.
Conversations. Don’t forget there are more than one…
I’ve been guilty (in real life too) of talking a lot. My stories are generally too long, and filled with too much detail in the telling. Unfortunately, I’ve on occasion shown that in my writing. Never forget there are two or more people talking, and one isn’t just sitting around picking his nose while the other blathers on about this and that. Lectures put folks to sleep, and they’ll do the same in your book. Witty, concise, and believable dialogue adds color to your story, and allows you to add a huge amount of detail and background info while allowing you an opportunity to make your characters more likable.
NAH…
“Forget it. So, where do we go from here?”
Adam Cutlip eased his belt a bit and sat back. “Good question. Wolf packs don’t generally have any one place they stay. Their territory is usually less than 100 square miles, but it has a lot to do with how much food is around. Since these ones have apparently acquired a taste for domestic animals, they might not go too far. I’m going to scout around a bit, talk to some folks in the outlying areas. I know the game trails around here as well as anybody, and I have the use of some sophisticated cameras from the university. They’re rigged with motion detectors, so I have a fair chance of getting some shots of our unwanted visitors as they snoop around for more food. If I can figure out what area they are frequenting, we might have a shot at running them down.”
YAH…
“Forget it. So, these wolves. Where do we go from here?”
Adam Cutlip eased his belt a bit and sat back. “Good question. Wolf packs don’t generally have any one place they stay. Their territory is usually less than 100 square miles, but it has a lot to do with how much food is around.”
“Food isn’t a problem around here.”
“True enough. Also, since these ones have apparently acquired a taste for domestic animals, they might not go too far.”
“So you think they’re going to hit another herd.”
“It’s a good possibility. All the more reason to get a handle on it quickly. I know the game trails around here as well as anybody, and I have the use of some sophisticated cameras rigged with motion detectors. If I can get some shots of our unwanted visitors, we can figure out what area they are frequenting. Then we get busy running them down.”
I love this post series you are doing. ( The second version is definitely better )
Hi Kelly…yes, it’s a constant learning process. And to realize I can’t write very well isn’t a declaration of despair. It’s a realization that I’m getting better every day. Thanks so much for coming by…your visit is much appreciated
Warm regards,
Thomas