You want me to write it AND edit it too?

You’ve written what you hope is the next “Carrie”, have a cover that could have been fashioned by Michelangelo, and only a couple tasks remain.

First comes editing. Oh no, you think…anything but that. Who wants to edit? Sit hunched over a keyboard for endless hours, spell-checking, punctuating, and making sure you didn’t use “their” instead of “there”. Or that someone who was 35 and blonde two chapters ago is suddenly 21 and a redhead. Are there actually folks who enjoy this? I surely don’t.

Which is exactly why editing is far harder than writing. Not by virtue of bottom line effort, but rather because it’s so – boring. I mean, lookit, you’ve just returned from a sublime journey through a world where midnight dwellers with foot-long teeth have decimated the entire population of Houston, and now you have to actually work?

Yeah, you do. And not only you do, but you better. ‘Cause without all the spelling, grammar, punctuation and factology (my word, stay away) correctimundo, great writing is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Not only will readers not finish it, they won’t peer around in earnest for any more of your scribbling, either.

I design and draft commercial properties and residential neighborhoods in my other, less glamorous existence. I do it like thousands of other guys do, using the same software, same type of computer, and so on. So the only thing I have to sell is one) my timeliness and accuracy and two) the quality of my product. And trust me, the beauty of the drawing has much to do with the perception of whomever is ogling it at the time. If it looks like a bunch of spaghetti spilled on the kitchen floor, then I don’t care if it’s accurate enough for NASA, someone is going to think it’s a shitty drawing. Period.

So it is with books. Plot and characters go right out the window as soon as someone sees “It was simpel; Darian just couldn’t bring himself to reveal there identity.” you, my friend, are in File 13. I’ve seen in – alot – and recently too. Why would anyone, anyone, anyone go to all the trouble, the hours, the sweat, the nail chewing blank stare what the hell comes next why can’t I come up with the ending crap, and then decided to just skip the finishing touches?

Do yourself a favor. Finish your writing, and then hand it to someone else. Preferably a few someone else’s. Even more preferably not a friend, acquaintance, or business partner. No one that owes you money, who answers to you at work, or is waiting for your vote for Imperial Grand Poobah of the Knights of Elmer Fudd. Petition a few fellow scribblers, ask them to look it over – and be savage about it. Circle, highlight, and draw a line through every misspelled, misused, and mistook word, every phrase and nonsensical sentence, and all plot spots that drew there eyebuggers together in confusionundrum. And when you get the lists, look at each and every one of the endearing items and change as needed. Then put their respective names in your book with thanks. They built it too, right?

It’s called work – and there’s not a best-seller out there that wasn’t hard work.

Amazon – stealing book covers? Oh no, say it ain’t so! Read this article by my brother Michael R. Hicks…

Click on the cover to read it!

 

COVER REVEAL! “Restless Souls: 3 Dark Fables”, my new ghost anthology, will be out soon…how do you like the cover?

 So, tell me what you think

1. “Do Unto Others” (short story) – Jeremy is a street hood, lawless and unchained. When he is wronged by a local businessman, it becomes his mission to seek revenge. But his new enemy has friends – ones that don’t take kindly to intruders.

2. “Colors” (short story) – Harrison Smith. attorney, biker wannabe, coward. When he finds the bike of his dreams, it seems too good to be true. It is.

3. “Simona Says” (novella) – Simona has had it rough. Death, disenchantment, and disappointment are all part of her life. She wants to be happy for a change, and she’s willing to do just about anything to find some. Anything.

My brother Ron Herron over at Painting with Light has a great article on social media mistakes many authors make…:)

Click on Ron’s pretty mug to read it…

 

URGENT! Yet another innocent girl has disappeared…can you help?

Click on the poster to read the full article…

It’s a tragic commentary on life in our world today…innocent children disappear on a daily basis. We as authors have a huge network of friends and collegues. Let’s use it for some good. Blog this, twitter it, face it, and digg it. Get the word out there any way you know how. Maybe it will be your post that gets her home…

My brother, Seumas “The Mad Kilt” Gallacher, has some sage advice for all of us…:)

Click on that beautiful mug to read it!

A great article with 17 mistakes you might be making on Twitter…:)

Click on the image to read it…

 

Our pal M.S. Fowle has a jackass in her henhouse, and she needs our help – please read :)

M.S. (Mel) has her book on Amazon, and some surly soul decided to give her book “The Sire” a bad review. Not only was he abrupt and rude, he also included a comment that gives away the ending to the book. I’m going to call “FOUL” on that, and hope you do too. The link below goes to the review. I would like everyone with working fingers to head over there and click “No” to “was this review helpful?”, so we can, with any luck, at least render his pitiful efforts null and void. 

ATTACK!

Click on the image to participate…

 

Imitation is great – unless it sucks…

I was driving home from work the other day, was waiting at a traffic light, and up next to me pulls this – well, for lack of a better word – Crown Victoria. At least, I think it was – it was shaped like one, except for the 47″ tires, the swirly-like paint, and other than that, I dunno. I dunno because it was vibrating too hard to get a good look at it. It was vibrating too hard because evidently the driver (young guy, slouched down, hand kinda hanging over the steering wheel, baseball cap snugged down backwards on his grape) had a hearing problem, and had the stereo turned up so loud MY windows were shaking. I say stereo, but it might have been some kind of mob-fighting equipment, because all I could really hear/feel was some kind of  “Booooooooom! Booooooooom!” at regular intervals, and struggling to be heard over that was this guy who was sing-songing about 9′s, b***ches, and better get out dat do’.

After giving this whole setup the fisheye, I was almost overwhelmed with the notion to walk over, tap on his window, and ask him if he really, truthfully, enjoyed that annoying shit, or was he just doing it because all his buds were doing it. But I didn’t – almost, but not quite. Instead I sat back and pondered, and eventually came to a conclusion:

That rather unfortunate young man ain’t one smidgen different than any of the rest of us.

How do I know that? Easy. He’s just doing what he knows, and what all the folks who came before him have done – imitating.

Cool – yeah? no?

I grew up in the 60′s, was a teen in the 70′s, and can tell you it was the same then. The hippie age was dying out by the time I hit my teens, but bellbottoms and denim were all the rage, fluffy hair on girls (with about half a can of hairspray to boot – any one of them could have gone up in flames just by looking at a lighter), long hair on guys, and platform soles. Was it because we all liked to look like a Saturday Night Fever crowd scene? Hope not. No, it was onaccountabecause we wanted to be cool, accepted, belong. No more, no less.

Same question…

And of course, anyone can recall the same stuff, no matter what age. Fedoras, pin-stripe suits, disco, rock, wing-tips, cars jacked up in the ass, low-riders, denim (remember when bluejeans were only worn by farmers? I do), fuzzy dice, and the list goes on and on. It also includes language: cool, dude, bro, pencil you in, awesome, chill, rad, do lunch, lame, totally…how many times have you heard those? (You can ask Mom or Dad if you have to.) No? Okay, then…how about brain fart, muffin top, showmance, or fugly? 

And now that I’ve sludged my way through to the wordy part of this soap-box-standing derby, let’s go to my current bane – the one word that I’ve come to hate above alllllll others. 

Absolutely.

Now, this part you’re going to hate me for, ’cause it’s gonna be like you just bought a 2005 Impala. Suddenly, you’re going to see all the 2005 Impalas that come within a mile of ya. Right?

Cast a curse at me whenever you like, but pay attention, and listen to how many times the “A” word is used nowadays. It’s epidemic, so it is. No one can say “you bet”, or “you’re right”, or “darned tootin’”, or “bet your ass” anymore. Why? ‘Cause “ab-so-fuckin’-lutely” is the cool word for today.

We can’t escape it. It’s in our blood, desiring to be accepted, brought in, wrapped around by the warm arms of societal standards.

Bump that – I’d rather be a writer, and concentrate on using as many different words from anyone else as is by God possible.

Out.

Author and blogger Kristen Lamb – Ways to Create Multi-Dimensional Characters–Tip #1

Click on the cover to read it…