(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean) A Catholic priest recently ascended to heaven on a helium host of party balloons, paying homage to Lawn Chair Larry’s aerial adventure. In 1982, Lawnchair Larry attached 45 weather balloons to his lawnchair, packed a picnic lunch, and cut the tether–but instead of drifting above Los Angeles as planned, he was rocketed into LAX air traffic lanes by the lift of the balloons!
Astoundingly, Larry survived the flight, inspiring the movies Up! and Deckchair Danny, and the actions of one Adelir Antonio, 51.
This priest‘s audacious attempt to set a world record for clustered balloon flight was intended to publicize his plan to build spiritual rest stops for truckers. But as truckers know, sitting for 19 hours is not a trivial matter even in the comfort of your own lawn chair.
The priest did take numerous precautions, including wearing a survival suit, flying a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and GPS. However, the late A.A. made a fatal mistake.
He did not know how to use the GPS.
The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land but chose not to.When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he finally phoned for help–but rescuers were unable to determine his location since he could not use his GPS. He struggled with the unit as the charge on the cellphone dwindled and died.
Over the next few weeks, bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches, and ultimately the priest’s body surfaced indicating that God had guided him straight to heaven.